fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
