I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
