Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
