they need to just BURY HIM!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize