Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
