i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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