i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
