So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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