What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
