I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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