In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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