You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
