i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
