no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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