Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
