That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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