I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need to calm my uterus...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
