this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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