guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
