I need help removing her.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
