The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You can't motorboat a personality
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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