I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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