He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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