We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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