hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
