I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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