I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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