have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
