Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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