Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
