Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
