Small penises have feelings too.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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