Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize