omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
