Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
