we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
