It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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