Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
