Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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