I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
