my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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