I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
