I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
