ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize