i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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