Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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