You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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