Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
