tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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