he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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