i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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