That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
