Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
