I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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