420 ftw
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
