its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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