she smelled like a LAN party
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize