You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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