Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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