1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
