He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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