sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he puts the penis in happiness.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
