this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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